Does your partner feel valued? How do they know they are understood? Would your partner say they experience unconditional acceptance?

How well do you validate the person you love? Clear, authentic validation sincerely recognizes your partner's importance. Honoring the prioritized position you hold in each other's lives is crucial for ongoing closeness. Let's explore what this means practically and hone your validation skills:

3 Ways to Validate Your Partner Well

Accept Your Partner's Feelings

Validating your partner means taking care not to discount their feelings. Avoid conveying the thought that your partner's feelings are somehow wrong or unworthy of consideration. Whether you agree or not, validation happens when you simply honor what is being shared. Both of you should expect to enjoy a respectful, honest, emotionally safe interaction regardless of your points of view.

Support Your Partner's Aspirations

When you validate your partner, you want to convey your support openly. You want them to know that you believe in their dreams, goals, and ability to achieve them. Affirmation is not withheld when you look to your shared future together. Let your partner know that you have no doubt about supporting them, win or lose.

Actively Listen

Active listening is key at all times, but it's particularly important when it comes to validation. Validation happens in an open, understanding environment. Listening in this way pays close attention to your partner's needs. You want to

• show interest in your partner's struggles and successes.

• be a team player, ready to brainstorm and problem-solve.

• engage, encourage sharing, and connect meaningfully.

Essentially, do your best to pay attention to what your partner wants to communicate without critique or interruption. Interested dialogue is one of the best ways to assure your partner that you value them.

3 Ways Validating Your Partner Matters

Validation speaks to how important your partner is to you. The practice is reassuring regardless of whether you and your partner are close or experiencing distance right now. It inspires closeness and intimacy the more you employ it. Your ability to communicate how highly you value them and your relationship can significantly boost relationship satisfaction.

Validation supports healthy communication

Partner's who validate each other have less trouble with damaging interaction. Why? A validated person is less likely to be defensive, as they feel supported. Instead, partners want to communicate clearly and preserve their connection. 

Validation fosters more trust

Acknowledging each other's importance is crucial for safe vulnerability and intimacy. Unselfish interest in knowing how your partner thinks and feels is mutually satisfying and productive.

Validation nurtures compassion

Reducing negativity and resentment in a relationship is possible with validation. Vulnerability and solution-focused thinking feel safer. This is key for partners to feel understood and valuable in the relationship.

What to Do Now

In a healthy relationship, both partners experience a healthy dose of confidence and belonging. Validation is a significant part of such relationship satisfaction. Essentially, validation promotes acknowledgment, acceptance, and appreciation. 

Of course, depending on your history and background, validation may not come naturally. If you sense that avoidance, unproductive communication, or unresolved issues are impairing your ability to validate each other and come together, it's time to seek support.

Guidance from a qualified therapist can help you develop key relationship skills. If you and your partner would like to learn more about couples counseling and how I can help, please reach out for a consultation.