How is your relationship?

• Are romance and closeness strong or are the stressors and strains of life wearing on your relationship?

• Is your partner expressing that they want more attention from you?

• Are distractions and outside concerns getting in the way of deeper connection?

To be certain, all relationships shift and change over time. Perhaps you are feeling tense or frustrated. At times, simple boredom can set in. Maybe you feel a disconnect you just can't put your finger on. If the satisfaction and passion you once experienced are difficult to reclaim, you may worry that love is slipping away.

Fortunately, mindfulness can help. Often overlooked as a relationship tool, this practice of being observant, present, and accepting offers numerous benefits for improving relationships. Here are some important ways mindfulness can help you and your partner reconnect:

Mindfulness Provides Space to Tune in and Focus 

Mindfulness encourages us to routinely slow down and focus on the present moment. With mindfulness, we learn to carefully observe and experience our immediate surroundings. The goal is to stop living anxiously or unproductively focused on the past or future. Less time is spent ruminating about what you cannot control.

Instead, we learn to live now. By keeping our thoughts and attention focused on the other person now, we have a better chance of connecting meaningfully.

Mindfulness Helps Us Prioritize

If we’re unable to separate ourselves from our digital devices, electronic entertainment, work obligations, etc. we communicate to others that they’re not as important to us as we claim. Sending such a message is a surefire way to harm a relationship.

As we learn to create space to focus on the other person, we also learn to push aside distractions that interfere with relationships. For example, when we’re able to remain centered in the present moment, we can turn off our digital devices without distress. Without the constant interruptions of alerts and messages from others, we can keep our attention where it should be: on our partners. Mindfulness can help you remain fully available and ready to connect.

Mindfulness Allows Us to Accept Others as They Are

Another key element of mindfulness is acceptance of life as it currently is. Of course, it’s not bad to want things to be different or to change. However, we still need to be fully present in our life right now. Every life phase has something to teach us.

The same is true for our relationships. Mindfulness helps us learn to accept our partners and friends as they are. It also teaches us that it is not our responsibility to change them. Trying to change someone else only creates unproductive tension and upheaval that creates resentment and further damages a relationship.

When we can remain present and accepting, others can sense it and remain open and vulnerable. They know they can trust us. This paves the way for improvements in the quality of the relationship and deeper communication.

Mindfulness Helps Us Remain Curious 

As we learn to remain present and practice acceptance, we can also learn to experience life with more curiosity. Too often long-term relationships can slip into boredom and a sort of "roommate syndrome" if we aren't careful. There are always surprises to uncover in our relationships...if we stay open to them.

Mindfulness encourages intentional curiosity and openness to discovery.

Our partners are often deeper and richer in spirit or aspiration than we might give them credit for. Checking in to ask questions and listen well, demonstrates clearly their evolving wants and needs matter to us.

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Relationships can improve and thrive when mindfulness practices are put into place. If you’re struggling with your level of connection, and want to know more about how to apply mindfulness specifically, I am here to help. Please feel free to contact me for a consultation. I can help you practice mindfulness techniques and maximize your ability to connect.  Read more about couples counseling and let's talk about how we can work together.