People are living longer, but, unfortunately, that does not mean they’re staying healthy. Eight out of 10 seniors are struggling with one chronic illness. For two chronic illnesses, the number is 77 percent. The highest on the list of those conditions are:

Cancer
Diabetes
Heart disease
Stroke

If you are the child of an aging parent, none of this will sound like breaking news to you. Your parent’s chronic illness is terrible for them. By proxy, it can be an incredible stressor for you. How does an adult child cope, give care, and still maintain their own mental and physical well-being?

Some of the Pitfalls For Your Parent

Loss of independence
Increased likelihood of physical and mental illness
Navigating the health care system, doctor’s appointments, etc.
Chronological peers getting sick and dying
Feeling like an imposition on friends and family
Loneliness and boredom

Some of the Pitfalls For You

Trying to juggle too many responsibilities
Seeing your parents become sick and frail
Financial costs
Not getting time with your own family
Not having time for your career, social life, etc.
The negative impact on your mental and physical health

Caregivers often report poor eating and sleeping habits, no time to exercise, and feeling guilty when they focus on their own health needs.

How to Productively Support a Parent with Chronic Illness

Do Your Homework

Doctors, nurses, and other health care workers are fallible and often stretched thin. Take the time to learn what you need to learn about your parent’s condition. Pass this education on to your parent if possible. There is a lot to know — from medications to side effects to warning signs and beyond. For example, many symptoms can go unnoticed if you don’t know what to look for.

Make Self-Care a Collaborative Project

Everyone — that means your parent and that means you — needs self-care. Some basic elements to consider are:

Some form of daily physical activity and/or exercise
Maintaining regular sleep patterns
Making healthy eating choices
Practicing stress management
Engaging in social interactions

Every time you remind your parent about these fundamental needs, take the advice to heart. Neither of you will thrive without it.

Be Pro-Active

You'll have fewer worries about falls, for example, if you set up their living space to be as safe as possible. Talk to experts. Do your own research. You can literally save your parent’s life by assessing their home for safety BEFORE anything happens.

Don’t Try to Be a Hero

You may already have two full-time jobs: your career and your family. You cannot handle a third. Set up a support system for your parent and for yourself. Recruit friends and family members to lend a hand when necessary. Be sure to carefully prepare them for whatever situation they are walking into.

Find the Lessons and Gifts

Firstly, you have every right to take pride in your caregiving efforts. Feel good about being a good and caring person. Lead by example and encourage others to do the same. Embrace every opportunity to learn. But, most importantly, savor the opportunity to give back to someone who was there for you since birth. While helping them, you may also have a chance to strengthen your relationship!

It’s Okay If You Get Overwhelmed at Times

No one applies for the job of caretaker for their chronically ill parent. It’s a mission that is thrust upon you and sometimes, it gets to you. It can help immensely to talk with a mental health counselor. Therapy is an ideal scenario for working through the emotions and nuances of this mission. If caregiving is burning you out, ask for help. You are not alone.