Distinguishing Between Grief & Depression (and How to Cope with Them Both)

This year has left many of us wondering about symptoms, safety precautions, causes, and more. But the vast majority of these musings are about physical illnesses. Meanwhile, both the pandemic and the drastic mitigation efforts are taking a heavy toll on our collective mental health. You may be grieving someone you lost to the virus. Even more likely, you could be in mourning over opportunities lost, finances threatened, and autonomy restricted. For those who entered 2020 dealing with grief or depression, it may feel overwhelming. You must understand both grief and depression and… learn how to cope with either (or both).

What to Know About Grief

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When we experience loss, it hits each of us differently. Why we experience loss can also be an individual expression. You mourn after the death of a loved one, of course. But you may also grieve losses pertaining to career, finances, geographical location, health, any type of separation, and more abstract entities like youth or innocence.

Common symptoms of grief run the full gamut of emotions and reactions. These may include:

  • Shock, denial, disbelief

  • A sense of numbness or apathy as if you no longer care about daily life

  • Feeling angry with yourself or others

  • Guilt over having not “done more” to prevent the loss

  • Feeling alone in what you’re going through

Grief is a process without a clear path. It’s not linear. Being unable or unwilling to cope with this process can lead to something called “complicated grief” or even depression.

What to Know About Depression

Depression is much more than feeling sad. It is usually more than feeling loss, too. A depressive disorder is a diagnosable condition that comes in several forms, e.g. Major Depression, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and Postpartum Depression. Of course, each manifestation is different but there are some common signs and symptoms:

  • Changes or disruptions to functions like sleeping or eating

  • Losing interest in activities that once excited you

  • Fatigue, low energy, not engaging in basic movements and functions

  • Unexplained physical pain and discomfort

  • Feeling hopeless or guilty

  • Thoughts of death, dying, and suicide

Any of these symptoms lasting for more than two weeks is cause for concern.

How to Cope With Both Grief & Depression

Acceptance

Denial is not the path to healing. If you’re struggling with grief, depression, or both, the first step is to accept the reality of the situation. Pay attention to what's happening inside you with less judgment and more patience. Remind yourself, however, that life is never completely negative. A gratitude journal can offer a way to push back against persistently unhelpful or hopeless thoughts and provide some useful balance to your life.

Feel What You Need to Feel

Do not put a time limit on your recovery. Access your thoughts and emotions. Feel them as much as you need to. Cry when it feels helpful to do so. Beyond the gratitude journal, track the feelings and physical responses you're experiencing. Monitor your emotional triggers and what makes you feel better.

Support System

Everything is easier with the help of trusted friends and family members. Bereavement and/or therapy groups can provide priceless solace. As you go through your self-help regimen, consider the guidance of a professional and support of a therapist.

Help is Available

If you’ve experienced a loss, you may see that as the sole cause of losing interest in activities that once excited you. And you may be right. But it’s best not to assume or guess. Consulting a trained mental health professional is a practical path toward answers. It's important to know for sure how grief and depression may be intersecting. The more you know about your situation/condition, the faster you can take steps to address it productively. Read more about Depression Counseling and contact me for a consultation.